A Silver Lining
Wow - now that's what I call a blog this week! Not only have I stirred the emotions of readers with my views on adoption, self and ego but I've gained some valuable friendships and opposing perspectives about a very sensitive topic. And you thought travel blogs were nothing but bragging tales of planes, trains and trips around the world. At GoNomad, taking a trip to the core of your belief systems is just as important as visiting diverse cultures and scenic locations. Now that I've established a tone for the week let me mention an interesting tidbit I heard on a NPR radio broadcast today. In 2005 Americans adopted more than 22,000 foreign babies while presently 1.6 million little people are growing up with new families. That's simply wonderful and even better, on the flipside, hundreds more foreigners are coming to the United States to adopt our children as well. The statistics continue to climb for open adoptions while not-for-profit organizations take strides in improving and simplifying the process. The show mentioned Ethiopia as especially needing of adoption attention. 2 links I found especially noteworthy and shed light on the changing dynamic: Ethiopianblog and Adoptionblog. So, now that I've vented my frustration on the matter there's a silver lining after all.
posted by Sonja Stark of PilotGirl™ @ 3:47 PM
3 Comments:
If we lived in an ideal world, adoptions would not be necessary.
The fact is that we don't and an adoption helps both the child and the adopting parents.
Children are brought into this world defenseless and, in many cases, thoughtlessly.
Even if they've been brought into the world with thought, as sad as it is, biological parents can die in accidents, be struck by illnesses, have financial reverses or suffer other problems which will not let them give a child the care it deserves. This happens everywhere in the world.
If someone feels he/she is in a position to help a child who would not receive help otherwise, it's to be applauded.
Someday there may be no poverty, no disease, intelligent, creative work for everyone, children only brought into the world intentionally by parents who are able to care for them, but we're not at that stage yet.
I have no way of knowing if it's true, but I'd guess that children who have been adopted by loving parents themselves become loving parents (either biological or adoptive) on the theory that what goes around comes around - that if you've been shown love by your parents you're more likely to show love to your children - and to be conscious of the consequences of your actions in the sense that you won't bring a child into the world thoughtlessly.
Unwanted children are always aware of it whether consciously or subconsciously and, I'd guess, are that much more likely to not feel love for children they themselves bring into the world.
I have no proof for this but child abuse is a major problem in this and other societies and my thought is that a societal feeling that procreation is a must contributes to this - that people often become parents without truly wanting to be and with no suitability for it. Parenting really and truly is not for everyone and for evidence you need look no further than your local supermarket.
Two more quick thoughts on adoption.
One is that adopting a child does not preclude having a child 'biologically'. There's no reason that families can't consist of both - what's important about a family is love and care and helping each other.
Two is that while we're talking abstractly about 'a child' or 'children' you just have to look at any of the real children in the pictures in Sony's profile to want to take one home - and you would always have your choice of which one (or which several) to adopt.
Dear Sony,
I agree with everything you've said about adoption, but I keep thinking: The world needs more people like you.
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