Love Hate Relationships

I have many many of these but city dwelling vs the 'burbs is the worst. I live 6 miles from downtown and savor the space, sunsets, safety, and solitude. I work in downtown and feed off the energy, convenience, architecture, and history. Both have their vantage points, both are desirable until.... "Hey buddy, what the f*** are doing walking in front of my car!" For the third time today, another hostile punk with an attitude deliberately and carelessly jaywalks in front of me. For a driver, nothing could be more annoying. To the extent that this idiot's life may be completely "out of control", he's found a way of controlling mine! For all the miles I put on in a day, hundreds and hundreds, this obnoxious act of defiance happens only in the inner city. I try to use psychiology to explain away the actions of these disenfranchised headstrong youth so I can just let it lie. I also feign a look of compassion and understanding as if - "oh, sure, it's ok, no big deal, I nearly broadsided your butt but that's alright, you go right ahead and take the road, after all, pedestrians have the right away". The apathetic jerk shuffles his feet, one-by-one, slowly and nonchalantly, not giving a damn that I'm pulling from my arsenal of psychiology tricks to keep me from slamming on the accelerator. Here's the hook, I can't do it anymore! Trying to justify incivility and the inconsistent behavoirs of others is giving me an ulcer and maybe this is why I'm better off in a confines of a wooded sanctuary. Also, I can't look away when I see a desperate homeless guy scraping for a dime or a single teen mom yanking the sleeve of her 4-year old while pushing a baby carriage with 2. Try as I might to poetically paint these scenes as "snapshots of cosmopolitian living", poverty and unplanned pregnancy is not pretty and it is preventable. The passionate liberal side of me wants to help but my conservative teutonic nature, the one I grew up with (danke frau mutti), wants to literally scream sense into these unfortunates. In the end, it's a love-hate relationship and there's nothing I can do about it but keep driving.