The Most Expensive Cup of Coffee in the World

Yesterday was the first time I was in Manhattan since a thief stole thousands of dollars worth of camera equipment by shattering my drivers side window, in my new vehicle. The crime happened in Newark, N.J. but now every big city scares me, regardless if I have equipment inside the car or not.

So last night, a friend let me spend the night in her brownstone on 95th Street after the Switzerland Extravaganza. When I arrived on the Upper West Side there were no free parking places so I parked in front of a sign that read "No Parking between 7am-10am".

"Fair enough," I thought to myself. I needed to be on the road by 7am anyway.

I tossed and turned all night worrying about my car. I worried too that I wouldn't get up in time to move my car by 7am.

Finally, morning came. I sprang from my bed and rushed out to my car at exactly 6:55am - five minutes before 7am. All was okay with my car and there were no tickets issued. Whew!

I jumped inside my vehicle and started the engine.

Then, I noticed a convenient 'Dunkin Donuts' store only 10 feet away. It was right there, on the corner. I longed for caffeine for the 2.5 hour drive back to Albany so I pondered the thought of spending two more tiny insignificant minutes ordering a coffee.

You know where this story is going...

There were no other customers in the store so the coffee took less than 2 minutes to pour and pay.

With a hot coffee in hand I walked back outside and who should I see issuing me a parking ticket but a lousy NYPD! It's now 7:01am and I've broken a coveted law.

"Stop, stop, why are you doing this?" I plead. I want to throw my coffee in his face but wisely I beg for mercy and apologize profusely. The NYPD is completely bereft of Christmas spirit.

The officer is from another country, he has a Spanish accent, maybe he doesn't understand me? He proceeds to make out the ticket while I plead in my defense. He is unflappable, like a robot going through the motions without a care in the world for my cries for leniency. He says very little and does not look me in the eyes.

Finally, he issues his only piece of sage advice: "Talk to the Judge" and then drives away.

I'm left holding a $125 cup of coffee which I promptly burn my lips on as soon as I drink it.